The Stand-Up Comedy Ride

Stand-up comedy done from a sitting position.  If you’re the type who would answer the door for a knock-knock joke, you’ll probably laugh.

The Political Ride

We disclose to each other who we voted for in the last election then we scream and call each other names and we try to shove our masks up each other’s butt.  Then, we never talk to one another again.

The Safe Ride

No longer available.

The Creepy Ride

I don’t say anything.  I just leer at you periodically in the rearview mirror and lick my lips in an unpleasant, malicious or lascivious manner. 

The Therapy Ride

Tell me about all your problems and I will pretend to care.

The Sympathy Ride

I tell you about my problems and you pretend to care.

The Silent Ride

The Sado-Masochistic Ride

I insult you and your relatives (particularly your mother’s choice of footwear) and be as rude as I possible can to you the whole trip.  WARNING: This ride begins by me throwing you out of the car and making you run to catch up.

The Chill Out Ride

I put on beautiful, quiet, classical music and you arrive at your destination relaxed, refreshed and less likely to complain about the TSA strip search.

The Personal Choice Music Ride

You chose the music and you can sing along with the dirty, filthy, misogynistic lyrics of your choice, without fear I will tell your mother to wash your mouth out with soap.

The Pedestrian Death Ride

You get to select the slow-walking pedestrian I run over.

The Alcohol Appreciation Ride

Arrive at your destination refreshed and ready for your next drink after throwing up in the car on the way.

The Gluttony Ride

I recommend the best restaurants in town and warn you to stay away from the other over-hyped ones. (I will join you upon request.)  You pay!

The Redneck Certification Tour

Find out once and for all if you qualify as a redneck.  

The Jeopardy Ride

I tell you fun facts and trivia about Nashville which will help you win game shows and amaze your friends.  Hint: Ask me about “hookers”.